Sunday, May 7, 2017

feeling guilty

Assalamualaikum guys....

Today I came to work with a bit of regret and guilt.
Nowadays I easily become godzilla at home, with the factor of tiredness of the chores.
And you look at the mirror and see yourself looking ugly, fat and dark, as if you were a maid. And I think a maid is even prettier.
Yesterday I nagged to my hubby because of the excessive load of the trash bin. When I nagged, my daughter interrupted my conversation, asking, " apa dia? apa dia?"
Well I wasn't in a good mood when fastening the trash bag and I cant't help but raising my voice and yelling at her for asking something not related to her.
I rarely yell at her, but when it happened, it hurt her a lot.
After putting the trash outside and cleansed my hand, I got into the room and found her sleeping. I knew she was upset and she wasn't really sleeping. Now I understand why our mom and dad warned us to jangan menyampuk when we were a child, because sometimes the situation is inappropriate for you to menyampuk, nak marah benda lain, and suddenly you became the victim, kan dah kena, huhu!!!!!
I apologized to her and told her don't interfere into our conversation next time because it is not suitable to ask many things because things could go wrong sometimes. Most of the times I am okay, but it seems that I was having my PMS yesterday hahaha... everyone in the house become the victims ehhehe..
I try my best to do the best to my children, to make them happy everyday but sometimes it turned the other way round since I am not perfect. Then blame yourself sob..sob..
Every morning when the children get up for school, I always give them some jokes to make them laugh in the morning. To give them a good mood as a kickstart of the day so they can begin their day with positive vibes. It is good to see her smile again this morning and I hugged both of them before they went to school.
To my children, I love you so much and forgive me for my wrongdoings, sorry for having this crazy mother. To my hubby, thanks for being patient.
Maybe this is the sign of aging

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