Monday, June 13, 2011

Apabila susah hati....*sighhh*......

My father's condition is not well.....fever and bad cough had getting him worse :( Sehari-dua ni memang dia demam dan batuk sampai tak tidur malam...bila demam, takde selera makan...dan badannya semakin lemah. Tetiba tadi pukul 7 mlm dapat panggilan mak aku...bila dengar ring tone tu aku dah risau dah..mak aku takkan call time macam tu kalau takde benda penting..and I was right...ayah aku takleh bangun sampai terkencing kat atas lantai...mak aku tak larat nak angkat sebab berat...she was only able to lift his head..at that time my two brothers were on their way, luckily their houses are not far away, about 10 minutes drive. My mum called to inform me as I did called her several times today. Even though I live far away, but I know everything about them, what they do, what they eat etc....the constraint is : I CAN'T HELP ANYTHING OR CONTRIBUTE ANYTHING!!!! Just listening what's happening and pray..that's all....

I have asked my partner (hubby) for his permission to go home this weekend by bus if my dad's condition is worsened. He will take care of the kids. Luckily it is not a problem handling them by himself. I told him, he was lucky because he had never felt the way I felt when my parents get sick...as his parents are still healthy and younger compared to mine. I always feel scared, shivering, nervous, worrying, feeling uncertainty, and useless when I can't do anything to help..I can't help my mum and dad when they need me!!! That is so hopeless......

Pray..that's all I can do...pray that Allah will have His mercy on my parents..to grant them a good health, happiness...

He was so weak when I saw him 2 weeks ago....



Uwaaaaa...nak nangis tengok gambar ni....ni kat depan kedai yang disewakan...masa ni ayah aku datang kutip sewa kedai...dulu kedai ni merupakan kedai kopi ayah dan mak aku...tapi telah di renovate..dulu usang je...kat kedai ni la aku membesar, dan duit hasil kedai kopi la mak ayah aku hantar anak-anak belajar sampai masuk Universiti, 3 orang pegi luar negara, dengan duit kedai kopi la ayah aku bagi kat abang aku sebanyak RM300 (300 keping RM1...masa tu teh 'o 30 sen je secawan..RM300 is a very big amount that time) untuk daftar masuk UPM naik lori panjang pada tahun 1982..waaa nak nangis.....(sorry gambar aku tak clear..kaler oren tu casing hp aku)



Ayah aku nak ikut pegi pasar Siti Khadijah..kakak aku terpaksa pimpin sebab dia tak larat nak jalan...suatu waktu dulu ayah aku yang pimpin kami lintas jalan....dulu aku selalu ikut ayah pegi tambat lembu kat padang..bila nak ke padang tu kena lintas jalan besar, dan ayah aku pegang tangan aku erat-erat.....that was 20 years ago...

He was too tired...sampai kat tengah-tengah tangga ni terpaksa berhenti, we were worried....masa aku kecik-kecik..ayah aku naik basikal tua dari rumah ke pasar kota bharu untuk beli bahan-bahan masakan kat kedai kopi....pasar ni merupakan tempat rutin dia setiap minggu, naik turun tangga adalah perkara biasa..tapi sekarang....that was so difficult for him to climb up the stairs....there's no more tough looking father carrying heavy loads on his shoulder :-(


He was too tired...muka pun dah pucat kuning dan sangat kurus..he wasn't that skinny before...(just received an sms just know, kadar gula ayah aku adalah 17!!!! aku rasa dia tak makan ubat...dia penah kata, dah bercupak ubat dia telan...if I were there, I will give him the pills at the right time..If i were there....)


My sister and my niece..sorry niece...I wanna show this photo hehe...

Sitting again....penjual ikan bilis tu kata, lama dah tak tengok ayah aku, dia bertanya kenapa muka tidak sihat...ayah aku kenal hampir semua peniaga di pasar...that was his place for ages...I remember when I was 5 years old...ayah aku nak pegi pasar naik basikal tua, dan aku pesan supaya dibelikan payung...

Kalernya macam tu la cuma payung budak kecik....bila balik...ayah aku belikan payung tu dan aku sangat gembira..kemana saja aku bawak payung tu....

Thanks Wan kerana memayungi kami selama ini...kalau bukan kerana didikan ayah (walaupun ayah sangat garang), dah tentu kami jadi mat rempit atau minah rempit.....terima kasih ayah dan mak kerana mendidik kami sejak kecil...semoga kami dapat menjadi anak-anak yang soleh yang dapat mendoakan mak dan wan kelak.... i love you so much mak dan wan....nak nangis wehhhhh................

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